I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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