Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
