I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
