at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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