You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
