She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
