Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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