I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
