Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
grandma shit on top of the toilet
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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