So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
