Whatcha textin bout Willis?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
