I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
