You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
