WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
