First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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