Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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