I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
