My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
