i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
