I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
