so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
