Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
