your thong is hanging out like whoa
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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