Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
