so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
