I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
