Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
