piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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