i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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