Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We don't watch enough power rangers
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
