walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
