I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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