mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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