so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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