Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
