I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
