he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
