only if we run a train.
done.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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