you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
