i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
