fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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