hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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