They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
