Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
