I'm lost and stupid without you.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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