Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
try to milk me bitch
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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