he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
