My boss' voice literally gives me gas
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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