You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
