Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
